July 10, 2008
Ruth Loses Her Husband
Read Ruth 1: 3-5 and Luke 7:11-17
The Book of Ruth opens in the days when judges ruled, and certainly those were dark
days for Israel. The first five verses of Ruth present a situation that swiftly goes from
bad to worse: a famine, travel and settlement in a foreign land, death of a husband,
marriages of two sons and then the death of both those childless sons. For Naomi,
things were bad when she lost her husband, but she still had her sons who had
married a couple of nice girls from Moab. When both sons lived up to their names,
which basically mean "sickly," and died, Naomi's rather hard life became desperate.
Joining her in this desperate situation were the two nice girls from Moab, Ruth and
Orpah, who were also left as widows.
To be a widow in biblical times was to be without a provider or protector. There
weren't a lot of good career opportunities for a woman and the times were often
violent and women were physically less able to defend themselves. Caring for widows
and orphans is commanded and commended throughout the Scriptures. Two of the
very infrequent resurrections, one in the Old Testament by Elijah (1 Kings 17:17-24)
and one in the New Testament by Jesus (Luke 7:11-17) were of the sons of widows.
Both Elijah and Jesus knew how impossible the widows' lives would be without their
sons to care for them.
I, too, was left a widow at age 34. As my husband took his own life, I became a
widow very suddenly. Sudden or not, by an event or disease, or even by abandonment
or divorce, to be a widow is to experience a paradigm shift of epic proportions. One
day, you are part of a couple and checking the "married" box on the form and the
next you are alone and checking the "widowed" box. The best word I can find to
describe it is bereft. While my career opportunities and financial circumstances
were much brighter than Naomi's or Ruth's, I still felt bereft. I was left alone in a
world that suddenly felt full of couples. It was hard to make a big decision, start
and/or finish a project or make a significant purchase without a partner. People
were kind and thoughtful and said tocall if I needed anything, but I didn't want to
have to call - I wanted someone to be there who knew what I needed and was
there to provide it.
So now, almost 15 years later, do I still feel bereft? The honest answer is "sometimes"
- but mostly I feel blessed. Not blessed to be a widow but blessed to know God
and who he is and what he has done in my life and blessed by the love and care that
has been provided over the years by my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without a
man in my life, I've come to depend on Jesus to be my provider and protector. I've
also come to depend on the kindness of my friends and family, which was a difficult
lesson for a woman like me who finds it much easier to give than to receive. So, care
for the widows and orphans that the Lord puts in your path. Call with an invite to
dinner or an offer to clean out their rain gutters. You will bless them and be
blessed yourself!
Mary Reilly
